Well I’m not buying it anymore. Home ownership does not equal success. Success, to me, is much more a matter of the heart. And though I realize a good amount of our frustration could simply be related to our location, I’m ready for an adventure. Mark Twain said, “Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did,” and I believe that wholeheartedly.
Last night my daughter was ready for bed and as we approached her room for our nightly prayers and tucking in, I decided to surprise her with, "Want to lay in mommy's bed?" My husband was working in the garage and I was spent after a normal mom day plus heat, plus the weight of current events. "YES! Let me get baby Minnie!" So we crawled onto my bed, cuddled up face to face and smiled. That mother-daughter, giddy, girly smile of pure love, joy and affection. "I love you mom ... I love being with you." Holding back tears, I couldn't help but think of being forcibly separated from her.
The newly found self-love that came with pregnancy was a joy I hadn't experienced since my youth. Never had I felt so beautiful, so complete. My body was at the height of its created purpose and that brought a strong sense of pride. I had two minds. Two heartbeats. Two souls. I knew it was something I never wanted to forget.
Kids birthdays. You want it to be ALL the things. So much fun and yet, can be so much stress. And for what? That's the question you have to ask yourself in the planning process. Who am I doing this for?
That's I guess where you find a bit of peace, knowing there's a million different ways to raise and be a family, and yet no playbook. What works for some won't work for all. Each family, like each child, like all of us, is unique.
I'm such a wannabe crafter. It must come with being a mom. I remember my mom and her trusty glue gun being BFFs when I was a kid. And in the age of Pinterest, it seems like everyone is crafting. Step-by-step tutorials full of pictures and videos make it so easy, right!? Well that's usually the extent of my creativity, following someone else's bright idea and well-thought-out instructions.
They are my world, and for the moment I am theirs. And that's it. That's the beauty I found which has ever so sweetly let me off the hook of regret over years of procrastination. I will never be this loved again.